My Past

  I didn't exactly know what to think about that, in that moment. My mind couldn't understand a word, my heart couldn't accept that fact. I had already thought about that possibility, but never really considered that. As soon as the news came to me, from my mom, I stopped breathing:
 - Do you remember when I told you that either he would still be with us or he would leave to be with Jesus?
  With this sad words she had THAT look in her eyes, the one that we see when we realize people cried a lot, people is suffering inside and trying not to show.
  I was too young, I'd have never imagined it would ever happen to me, I used to think "Why would I be the chosen one to suffer like this?", "Why me?", "No, it'll never happen.", "He'll be okay soon.". But even among so many people in the whole world I was one of the chosen to feel like this, to think everyday I wake up "Would it be the same if he were alive, if he were here?".
  When I realized what she was saying was real, I left the little room I was inside of,  desperate, I found my maid, already crying. I started to remember, every laugh, every second with him, every hour I spent with him, I wasn't really the best sister a brother wanted to have, but I was a kid, a little kid. I remembered when we learned to ride a bike together, the day we discovered his disease, our visits in his Hospital room in São Paulo, at INCA (Rio de Janeiro), when he went home, at wheels chair, when we realized he was already leaving, saying goodbye, and his funeral. I miss you. Felipe ❤. You are ∞. 
  Cancer? Such a terrible disease, to the sick one and to who's watching everything.